Can You Wear Army Dress Blues to a Wedding

Angela

Just Said Yes September 2017

Dress Blues at Civilian Wedding??

My fiance' and I are getting married in the fall and he selected a cousin of his to be a groomsman. His cousin who is now out of the military wants to wear his dress blues during the ceremony instead of a tux. None of the other members of the wedding party are involved in the military and will be wearing a tux. I fear that one groomsman wearing something different will upstage the wedding. I'm not sure if I am analyzing the situation too much. Can someone tell me the etiquette for wearing dress blues as a member of the wedding party, within a civilian wedding?

57 Comments

  • Happy2becomeHower

    Following... as I am in the same situation. My FH brother and best man is now out of the military but plans on wearing dress blues.

    • Reply
  • Spaghetti

    VIP November 2018

    Spaghetti ·

    • Flag

    I would have no problem at all with someone in the military wearing their dress blues. I would actually prefer it I think. It's a great way to honor their commitment and I'm sure they enjoy the chance to wear them.

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  • Davistobe

    Super September 2017

    I think if he was the groom it would be fine but as a groomsman I think it would put the attention on them. Yes everyone knows who the groom is but still.

    I would say no they need to dress the same.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie

    Super May 2018

    Different branches have different rules so check that with the GM. Many who service men and women who are out of the military cannot wear Blues anymore unless it's past retirement not just choosing not to reenlist. Is there a reason he wants to wear Blues? I know my FH (Marine) hates wearing his, it's not comfortable at all. It sounds like more of a call for attention, as much as I hate saying that. Especially considering it is a civilian wedding I would ask him just to wear the matching tux.

    ETA: maybe he could wear something else to honor his service?

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  • AdventuresofRuth

    VIP October 2017

    I agree with Stephanie H. There are lots of rules about who can wear them. My FH also hates wearing his as they are uncomfortable and ostentatious. I totally get wanting to honor their commitment, but this is actually an event to honor YOUR commitment. Not theirs.

    • Reply
  • SaraJ

    Super November 2018

    SaraJ ·

    • Flag

    I would tread lightly, since obviously you wouldn't want to seem ungrateful for his service. However, I don't think it's inappropriate for you to ask him to wear what the other GM wear...particularly since he is no longer active duty...and isn't the groom.

    • Reply
  • Davistobe

    Super September 2017

    Adding what others have said too. My fiancé hates wearing his uniform; I wanted him to but he hates it so I wasn't going to make him if he didn't want to. They're hot and itchy.

    • Reply
  • Angela

    Just Said Yes September 2017

    Angela ·

    • Flag

    I am unsure as to why he really wants to wear them. I just know my FH said that he won't be getting a tux, because he's wearing his blues. I'm completely grateful for his service, but don't know how to approach the situation...I feel it could come across the wrong way.

    • Reply
  • CoffeeNColor

    Master August 2017

    My friend's grandfather wore his dress attire to every event he could. He retired from the Navy in 1973.

    10 U.S.C. 772 outlines when military personnel not on active duty can wear uniforms. Thebalance.com has a good article summarizing the rules also.

    Edit: it seems like the dress uniform is the equivalent to formalwear.

    • Reply
  • emily

    Expert July 2017

    emily ·

    • Flag

    One of our groomsmen offered to wear his, he's been medically discharged from the Marines (I don't know the rules about when he can and can't wear them) but when he offered, he also mentioned they're hot & he's not 100% sure he could fit comfortably back into them. I said thank you for offering but July in the south in dress blues may not mix well. He was relieved, as the other groomsmen are wearing slacks and button ups. If your groomsman wants to wear his, and it's appropriate per his particular branch, I say let him.

    ETA: FH & I are not military.

    • Reply
  • The Trap Selena

    Master March 2016

    I didn't know there were rules as to whether or not military members could wear their dress uniforms at weddings. You learn something new every day!

    But honestly OP, I think you should drop it (provided he IS allowed to wear his dress blues). He earned the right to wear that uniform if he so chooses and is allowed by his branch of service.

    • Reply
  • Jamie

    Master May 2017

    Jamie ·

    • Flag

    Not sure what the rules are for those no longer in the service but a uniform should be a source of pride and honor. One of our groomsmen wore his and I LOVE the pics of him in his uniform. He is my DH's nephew and is an officer.

    Be aware that there is a conduct code that goes along with the uniform. Our groomsman had to change out of his uniform for the reception as he absolutely can not drink in uniform.

    To me, unless it is someone who retired from the military I think it's a little odd...

    • Reply
  • TheHamWhites

    Super March 2018

    Let him. He's sacrificing his life for you and everyone at your wedding. If that's all he wants to do to be in your wedding, let him. Give him that honor.

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  • Emily ·

    • Flag

    As a guest at that wedding I would likely comment during cocktail hour on how nice and unique that was.

    I will never understand brides being worried about being upstaged. You're the bride. You won't be upstaged. People are there to see you and oooh and aah over you. A GM in dress blues isn't going to make people walk away wondering what the bride looked like.

    • Reply
  • CoffeeNColor

    Master August 2017

    I thought more about this after my last comment. I don't think he'd upstage anybody or look odd. It would be a fleeting thought in the vein of...Oh, he is/was in the military. How nice that he wore his uniform! What a lovely ceremony. I love the reading that So-and-So did...

    If he wants to wear his dress uniform, let him. He knows whether or not he'll be comfortable in it. And he knows the rules about when he's allowed to wear it.

    • Reply
  • Megan

    Super October 2018

    Megan ·

    • Flag

    If he wants to wear it (and rules allow for him to) then let him. My FH is in the army and two of the guys he is going to ask to stand up with him are also in the Military (one marine, one army). If they want to wear their uniforms I wouldn't say no. I like the uniforms better than tuxes anyways.

    • Reply
  • ashlynnisabella

    Devoted December 2017

    My FH will be wearing his dress blues! (Maybe in part because I keep talking so much about how I love them!) I don't think I would have a problem with a GM wearing his blues. You definitely wouldn't be outstaged! It would be a neat thing to add to your wedding party!

    • Reply
  • stephanie

    Super October 2017

    stephanie ·

    • Flag

    If it was the groom I would say he absolutely should, especially if an officer.

    As a groomsman though I don't think it matters. I would lean toward go for it because I have a lot of military family, but when my cousin got married last year he had his groomsmen all in tuxes (mix of military and civilians), and he wore his dress blues.

    As far as the rules and codes of conduct around wearing them (from a military perspective), that's on him to be accountable for so I don't think you need to worry about that.

    • Reply
  • Alana

    VIP March 2018

    Alana ·

    • Flag

    No he shouldn't he would be so out of place. Buy a tux.

    You can wear your dress blues anywhere you choose as long as its properly worn. Still would tell him no rent a tux like everyone else. This is not military ceremony.

    • Reply
  • MTMA9917

    VIP September 2017

    MTMA9917 ·

    • Flag

    He served his country, he has earned the right to wear his dress blues wherever he pleases!

    • Reply

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Source: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/dress-blues-at-civilian-wedding/eb5cdec13f50fa39.html

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